I FIX TIRES!!!

Hey ever-body my name is John and I live in Cicero, Illinois. RIGHT OUTSIDE OF CHICAGO! A coupla weeks ago these two guys got a flat tire infront of my bar where I hang out...














I tole 'em I can fix it!!! They said they already called triple AAA. So, I asked 'em whaddaya on a Hiking, Biking trip a somethin'? They didn't answer me though. So, I kept tellin' em I can fix it. I gotta 4 way and a fix-a-flat right in my trunk. Whaddaya gonna do? Wait fa Triple AAA? These guys didn't care. So, I just went right back into Shirleys to have my noontime oldstyle.














I told everyone in the bar, and it was noontime, so Shirley's was packed, that there were a coupla clowns from the Suburbs out on the Street with a flat tire. And they refused to let me fix it. Everyone couldn't believe it. I said, yeah, It's true. They're right out on the corner and they won't let me fix it. So, then I brought somma my friends out to see and laugh at these guys for calling Triple AAA. So, I got my friend Charlie and he says, lemme see... So, I do. And we go out there and I start to yell Triple AAAaaaaaaaa, where are you, Triple AAA? HELP! Triple AAAaaaaa! Man I musta been doin that off an on for 2 hours!!!


















It was so funny I had to grab my nuts. But then I saw that these guys were taking pictures a me. So, I had to go over to them and say, Hey, you better not put any pictures a me up on the HOMO INTERNET! I had to let them know. I also had to let them know where they were. I said, you know where you are, brother? You're in SPICKERO! Look at me! I'm white. They leave me alone cuz I own this town. This is mine... but you... you're a coupla FRESH COOKIES. Yeah, it's safe now but wait till it gets dark and all the cockroaches come out. Gangbangers'll be everywhere...














See... even my friend Jimmy couldn't believe it... I brought him over to talk some cents inta these muttonheads. He tried to tell 'em like I did. Look, let him fix it. He's a mechanic. These guys were a real coupla know-it-alls. I waved my hands at 'em. and toll 'em they were introuble afta dark. And sure enuff some young gang-bangers came buy that I know and guess what? All hell almost broke loose. I talked to the gang-bangers and told 'em to look out for these two biking hikers who were stuck in the hood. They did. Almost stole everything these two assholes owned... and give 'em a good beatin' besides. Anyway, the shittin' Triple AAA truck shows up right on time before these guys got there heads knocked inta there next flat tire. Lucky them!!!
-John