Thursday, April 3, 2008

"Germans"


Somewhere out there in Utah. On a road from Bryce Canyon...


...to Zion...






...my brother and I witnessed a peculiar occurrence.

We stopped, for some time, to collect our breath after seeing one of the most beautiful sights The World has to offer. Little did we know that we'd be heading to a place that was just as beautiful... or that we'd see something completely silly between the two. The sights we saw on that day ran the gamut. From heart stopping to ridiculous.

Ya see, as we pulled into a random gas station, in the middle of nowhere, we came upon something we'd never expected. It seems there was a gang of German tourists playing "Hells Angels" across the country. Apparently, for a sizable fee you can go on a Great American Harley tour across our wonderful nation -or perhaps even just a part of it- and take in the sites on a hog. That's exactly what a group of crazy Krauts were doing when my brother and I arrived on scene at this out of the way station.

They were nice, as nice can be, German folk. Fully clad in leather and Harley gear, inquiring about "the cappuccino" in the general store when my brother and I approached for snacks. The proprietor actually had cappuccino... and as we left I overheard a couple of Germans remark that it was "a really damn good cappuccino." We said howdy to a few as we passed, hopped into The Ghost with our Doritos, and sped off into the hills... We figured that'd be all we'd hear from The Crazy German Motocyclin' Gang and chalked it up as a minor peculiarity.

Now, very quickly, allow me to fill you in on a recurring topic that David and I shared on our trip through twenty two states. One of the major themes was animals. We wanted to see animals. Alive or Dead. Didn't much matter to us. We were psyched about any and all animals on our trip. There was so much talk of animals that I'm remiss in not having posted about this earlier... I'll put it to you this way: we spent more time talking about animals than we did in Karaoke bars, which was far too much time.

So, when we were buzzing down a Highway in Utah and we looked out the driver's side window and saw Bison... well, you know why we had to stop.


I eased The Ghost over to the shoulder and David and I hopped out to snap some photos of the mammoth beasts. My camera does the job but it does no justice to the size of these massive creatures. We were elated. I wanted to leap the fence and run into the field... even though, from our distance, each bison looked like the size of a bus. It was truly a spectacle.

Imagine our surprise when we heard the roar of a chopper convoy twenty five to thirty Germans strong ripping down the road. Everyone by the side of the highway turned to inspect the noise. The bison looked up from their pasture "eeehhhrr!?" Hay falling out of mouths. We all looked. Then, The German Bikers-in-Training slowed to a stop in the middle of the road. To regard the Bison. They all came to a complete, if not shaky, stop.


That's when I took this picture. Unfortunately, I then put my camera away. Had I kept taking pictures I'd currently have evidence as to what happened next. The motorcycle line came to a halt there on the highway. Taking up the entirety of the west bound lane. With no regard to our country's traffic laws. They're a biker gang. And they're German. "Fick You! Unce you Amelican Highvays! AUTOBAHN!" So, they pulled up and came to a halt. As they did a guy halfway down the line lost it. His bike fell to our right and hit the ground. From a good distance off we watched as he rolled onto the Highway... and into traffic. You can't see any cars in the picture but one came along and started beeping at him. He was slow to get up. He then had trouble righting the bike. They must have had a guide in the truck at the front of their convoy because someone came out to help him... I will say that it's good, when Germany unleashes it's biker gangs on our American streets, that they're being supervised. That's extremely important. We wouldn't want them to scratch their beautiful American engineered soft tails.

After that the Highway stayed two lanes until we got out of Zion Canyon. We were on those twisty roads a good long while. The whole time pursued by The Germans, a few cars behind, en mass. Usually, they were a ways behind due to traffic flow but sometimes, because of a tight pass, traffic would halt and they'd catch up. Each and every time that happened David and I would see them and yell, "GERMANS" as loud as possible in their direction.

-Chris

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8 Comments:

At April 3, 2008 at 7:11 AM , Blogger Mearns said...

Hilarious!
You did a great job of phonetically typing in a German accent.

 
At April 4, 2008 at 2:33 AM , Blogger Walsh Brothers said...

Ya, ziss iss becausss I am Juhr-mun!

 
At April 4, 2008 at 10:01 PM , Blogger Dee-Rob said...

Sure you saw bison and other animals, but did you see monkeys?

 
At April 5, 2008 at 6:13 AM , Blogger Walsh Brothers said...

You're a Monkey!

 
At April 9, 2008 at 5:05 PM , Blogger Walsh Brothers said...

Chris, they were buffalo. We stopped for buffalo. David

 
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